I’ll be in the corner if you need me.

Nothing new on my sister. But now my brother, who is on the kidney transplant list, is in the hospital with cardiac blockages. One is 40-50% blocked. The other one is 90% blocked. I’m looking at the fact that they didn’t rush him into surgery as a positive thing. Even so, if you need me I’ll be in the corner trying to hold myself together.

I Can’t Believe I’m Here Again

This decade has been a rough one for my family. My father passed in 2010, my brother-in-law in 2011, my sister passed away in 2016, and my mom passed last year. I thought we would get a break until the 2020s. I was wrong. My sister had a CT Scan on her lungs and the doctor has found something “concerning.”

I’m so scared right now. I can’t lose anyone else in my family. So, please send whatever prayers, good thoughts, positivity, whatever you can, to my sister. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that whatever they think they’ve found can be treated. I’ll keep you all posted on what we find out.

Much gratitude to you all. Meg

Update

Greetings all,

Just a quick note and update. I haven’t been posting because I hurt my shoulder over 4th of July weekend and I’ve been on light duty ever since. Which means the only typing I’ve been doing is for work. Otherwise, things here are going well.

My cat Patches is still hanging in there, and his last blood work was normal for the most part. The vet was astonished to see him doing so well. I guess he’s just not ready to give up his ninth life. J

Summer’s flying by, and my family is getting ready for my niece’s wedding in September. She honored me by asking me to be her Maid of Honor, so I’m pretty excited about that.

I hope everyone out there is doing well and having a wonderful summer.

The Strong Ones Break

The strong ones are the ones who have

Learned how to break.

From break-ups to breakdowns

To break-ins

Where people have unexpectedly stolen

Our hearts.

We have felt ourselves crumble

Into dust.

At risk of being blown away

By the changing winds of our lives.

Yet time and time again we

Glue ourselves back together again.

Hope, faith, and tears create an emotional cement

That strengthens the remaining cracks in our psyches.

We rise over and over again from the ashes like Phoenixes.

Reborn, recreated and restored.

The Miracle recovery

This little guy has used up one of his lives. The vet said he probably had a blood clot and his full recovery and regaining the use of his back legs is remarkable. He’s doing great again. I feel so lucky to have been given at least a little more time with him.

Funny story: Last night I checked up on him and he looked at me like, “I’m fine, mom. You can quit checking on me every half hour.” 🤣🤣

Life’s Rubber Band

Major life events become

Rubber bands wrapped

Around our life time.

As time passes

It can stretch

To make it

Seem like forever

And when it relaxes

The event

No matter how long ago

Seems like mere days

Have gone by.

Years may pass

Before the band

Loses its elasticity

And the event eases

Itself into real time.

Until that happens,

Humanity is stuck

In a limbo of

Push and pull

On our conscious memory.

Time seems to move fast

And slow all at once.

And we just drift with it.

 

One year ago today, my mom went into the hospital, for what would turn out to be, the last time. It’s another one of those firsts that I’ve had to face since my mom passed. I’m running out of time to have those first moments though. In five weeks it will be a year since she died. That in and of itself seems impossible. That day, her last in this house seems so long ago, yet it seems like it happened last week — such a strange sensation, to bounce from one distance of time to another. Somehow, I’ve found the strength to get through my first summer without her, the first fall, her birthday, holidays, all without her here. There have been moments of unbelievable pain and moments of peace where I’ve found some kind of acceptance. Even though pure acceptance has yet to materialize in my heart, I still can’t believe she’s gone and in some ways, now that so much time has passed, I can. And back and forth I go.