Category Archives: writing

Happy Blogoversary to Me

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Today is exactly one year since I posted my first blog entry. When I first started, I had a vague idea of what I wanted to share with the world. Some of it survived the first year, while other ideas died a rapid death (earworm interpretation, ring any bells?). It’s funny how this year can feel like it lasted a lifetime and also as though it passed in the blink of an eye. So much happened in my life. The biggest thing, of course, being the passing of my mother in May. I lived with her for 13 years and was her full-time caregiver.
Losing her was a profound loss for me and adjusting to living alone for the first time in my life has been extremely hard and will continue to be a challenge moving forward into 2019. I’ve been so thankful to have my blog. It has been a place where I can go and be creative or write about what is going on in my life. I feel safe here, and that’s a beautiful sense to have. This blog has made me stop and take time to look at the world in ways I probably wouldn’t have if I weren’t in a more creative frame of mind. The poems I’ve written this year, I feel, have been some of my best work and I’ve been proud to post them here for you to read.  That’s one of the biggest things I learned in my first year as a blogger. When I first started, my goal was to post something every day. I quickly realized that when I tried to post something I wasn’t proud of I felt like I am giving my audience the respect you deserved. Posting something every day isn’t what’s important. What is essential is being patient with myself and creating something I can be proud of.

This year will hold even more changes for me. I’m actively looking for transcription jobs to help support myself while turning my attention more towards writing stories, poems, and books for publication. I want to share my creativity on a broader stage and hopefully gain more followers here as well. I’m so excited to see where this journey takes me this next year, and I look forward to sharing it with all of you.

New Year’s Beauty

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The beauty of New Year’s Eve

Isn’t in the fireworks blazing in

Nighttime skies around the globe.

It’s not in the confetti

Falling like snow

In Time’s Square.

For me, the beauty lies

In the glowing faces

of humanity

Connected in a rare

Moment of unification

All are looking towards the

Upcoming year

With the same hopes and

Promises to make it

Better than the last.

Juggling Characters

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I have a confession to make. The past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling somewhat schizophrenic. That isn’t to make light of the condition; it’s merely how I feel. I have three stories kicking around in my brain, and the characters that are exploding into consciousness are all talking to me at once: the old man who is eagerly anticipating a long overdue meeting, an artist being plagued by a dream, and another man searching for something lost many years ago. I find myself wondering if other authors are ever faced with the same situation. Does anyone else find themselves juggling several stories at once within their minds? How do you handle it? Do you try to write all the stories at the same time, like I’m struggling to do, or do you tackle them one at a time start to finish and then move on? Not that I’m complaining, it is a beautiful situation that I find myself in. I feel like every waking moment; I’m creating something new and different. I can feel my imagination stretching in new ways, and I relish every second of it. If this is what it is like to be a writer, I’m never going back.

The Frustration of a Brick

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We had a few inches of wet snowfall in my area recently and, during the storm, I took my dog out. For some reason, he found a section of brick lying near the house and decided that it would make a fun toy. Yes, he’s weird like that, lol. Anyway, the snow started sticking to the brick as he moved it along the ground with his feet. The thickening snow on the surface made it hard for him to pick up, so he tried to get the snow off by rolling it. Unfortunately, his doggie brain couldn’t process the fact that pushing it, it only added to the amount of snow sticking to the brick. In a very short time, it was encased in a snowy cube about half a foot across and kept growing as he managed to push it down a small hill. Running down to catch up with it, he started pawing at it trying to get the offending snow off and then he resorted to barking at it frustratingly. By this point, I was laughing so hard I could barely stand up, and he looked at me with this expression of, “Mom, it’s not funny!” I was finally able to get him to come inside, but the next day when we went out, he went right back to that brick and continued to try to play with it again. I gotta hand it to him, he’s a determined little guy.

Grateful

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Through all the tears I’ve shed

I’ve found clarity

Like rain washing away fog

Even though it hurts

I’m grateful.

Even though my heart is aching

I’m grateful.

Grateful to have had her

In my life.

My arms long to hold her again

Because she was such

A wonderful mother

And provided me with

Such warming love.

And even though it

Will never be enough

I’m grateful to know

That she will always be

With me.

A Possible Visitation

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Yesterday, my niece and nephew came for a visit. I had them help with a few things while they were here including taking my mom’s bed apart. Seeing the pieces of the bed my mom has slept in for over 40 years was very emotional but having to walk by it every day had gotten to be much too painful and I knew it was time to remove it. Hours after they had left when I was getting ready to go upstairs for the night, I went into my mom’s room and looked at the dark empty space where her bed had been and asked if she was okay with my removing her bed. I wasn’t expecting an answer, how could she answer me? Taking one last look, I went into the front hall and turned on the lights, one in the downstairs and one in the upstairs. Climbing the stairs, the light behind me blinked on and off one time. “Once for yes, twice for no.” flashed through my mind and I stopped mid-step dumbfounded. Could it have been her? I don’t know. There was no accompanying cold or air or feeling like she was there, but I’d like to think it was a sign from her — a sign that she’s okay with me moving on and changing the house to suit my new needs. It’s also comforting to know that her spirit is still around watching over me.

A Christmas Haunting

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The closer Christmas approaches

The more I feel you near.

Memories won’t stop unfolding

And it’s leaving me in tears.

You’re ghosting all the corners

Of every single room

Tis the season of light and merriment

And I’m deep in grief and gloom

I’m hearing snatches of your voice

As if your still here with me

I see the brightness of your love

in the lights on the Christmas tree

I don’t know how to do this

The holidays without you

How do I heal this ache in my soul

And figure out what to do.

 

This poem doesn’t want to be finished. I’ve been trying for several days now, and this is where it wants to end. Maybe once I get through this challenging time I’ll be able to look back and come up with an ending, I don’t know.