Today was another roller coaster of a day. When I walked into my mom’s room she was pretty much awake and breathing on her own. As I walked across her room to put my stuff down I watched her eyes track me across the entire room and then when I squeezed her hand and she squeezed it back I almost burst into tears of relief. She was responsive to questions and doing much better. She was able to breathe on her own for over 5 hours today before she got too tired and they turned the ventilator back up and bumped up the sedation. My sisters and I were all feeling so much more hopeful. Then we learned that they had discovered signs that she was bleeding internally so they are doing a GI scope as we speak to try to find out where it’s coming from. Hopefully she will not need surgery for it. So up and down we go but hopefully we will start having more days of upward recovery in the near future.
We stare at the monitors watching
Lines rise and fall.
Hissing machines are breathing for
The impossibly small looking woman
In the bed.
Our hearts skip beats when
We see the extra bumps
On the screen
Those indicate her breathing
And we continue hoping
And loving her with all we have.
Authors note: It’s strange where I’m finding inspiration during these difficult days spent in my mother’s hospital room. I never thought I would ever write about lines on life support monitor yet that’s what inspired me yesterday. Watching that line wiggle and knowing that meant my mom is still in there and still fighting to come back to her family. Words can’t express what that meant to my heart.