New Year’s Beauty

The beauty of New Year’s Eve

Isn’t in the fireworks blazing in

Nighttime skies around the globe.

It’s not in the confetti

Falling like snow

In Time’s Square.

For me, the beauty lies

In the glowing faces

of humanity

Connected in a rare

Moment of unification

All are looking towards the

Upcoming year

With the same hopes and

Promises to make it

Better than the last.

Checking In

I’m just checking in.

To tell you all how I’ve been

I keep surfacing for air

And looking here and there

To see if the grief is gone

To see if life can go on.

But grief’s a cheeky bugger

And not much of a hugger

He tends to sneak up on me

From behind where I cannot see

So I quickly dive back down

Trying to find smiles in all the frowns

And try to be patient with me

Because that’s what mom would want to see.

Update on “The Rise of Self-Doubt”

On September 26, 2018, I published a post about a poetry contest I was interested in entering. I expressed feeling a great deal of self-doubt about my talent and ability to produce an entry worthy of submitting into the contest. After receiving several messages of encouragement, I decided to throw my hat into the ring, and I entered my poem into the competition. Now, as with all contests, the waiting begins. I will find out either way by the end of December whether or not I placed or not. Fingers crossed.

Have Faith

“Have faith.” She tells me

But how can you have

Faith in the faithless?

How can you have faith

In someone who has

Let you down

More than they have

Raised you up?

How can you trust

Your heart with

Someone who never

Sees your feelings

As valid.

Who builds herself up

By tearing you down

Over and over again.

“Have faith.” She suggests.

Never again.

Primal Grief Observed

Never have I felt this

Lack of control

Over my emotions.

I have been reduced

To a quivering,

Gasping

Shell,

Drowning in the

Ocean that falls

From my eyes.

This need to

Have her back

Is all-consuming

I’m vaguely aware

Of the pleas

Tumbling from my lips

Please send her back to me.

Please send her back.

I gulp in the air only to have

The wracking sobs

Steal it back again.

My pain so tangible

Yet I feel numb to it.

Minutes feel like hours

Until the wave finally passes

And I am deposited

Bonelessly onto the

Still unfamiliar shores

Of this cold new reality.

Turkey Crossing

Why did the turkeys cross the road?

To go back and forth again

And again and again.

I sit in my car watching them,

Watching me with their tiny eyes.

The scene is repeated in the car

Across from me.

Several cars are stuck

In this spot in the road.

While these birds

Try to make up their mind.

Which side of the road

They would rather be on.