Tomorrow is most likely THE day! My mom had another really encouraging breathing test today. She was able to breathe pretty much on her own for almost 6 hours today and she was communicating through nods and head shaking. She let us know that she wanted to go home. Which made us all smile. The doctors feel she meets enough of the criteria to be extubated tomorrow morning. We are all tremendously anxious about it because once the tube comes out there is no going back. Either she will recover or she won’t. There is no in between. So while I am pleased and immensely proud at how far my mom has come in the past few days I am paralyzed with fear with what comes next. Thank you for all your support so far and I hope it is ok to ask for continued prayers and good thoughts moving forward.
Last night my mom was rushed to the hospital. She is 87 now and has congestive heart failure among other ailments. Sitting here alone in the house we share seems so strange. We’ve been in this situation before but for some reason, this time seems different and I’m not sure why. Usually, I’m very worried about her but this time I’m not and I’m not sure how to feel about this. Maybe it’s because I know she is getting the best care and will probably be home in a few days or maybe I’m just resigned to the fact that she is getting older and know she won’t be with us forever. I don’t know. My sisters are handling communicating with her nurses because of my speech, which is fine. But somehow I feel like they have rallied the troops around each other and I’m on the outside of it all. I understand why I feel this way. Several years ago, they got together to talk about mom’s care and left me out of it. Here I was living with our mom and dealing with her medical issues on a daily basis but they felt it was ok to not consult me in any way. It really hurt. I talked to one of my sisters about it and she said that she had no idea I had been left out and promised to do better. And she has but yet here I am. My nerves and emotions are just raw right now and I’m still fighting my bronchitis so that has me at the edge of exhaustion from coughing all night. Anyway, if any of my readers could send prayers and good wishes her way, they would all be very much appreciated. And I will keep you all posted about her condition in the upcoming days.