Tag Archives: self doubt

Ignoring Doubt

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This week I’ve been working on my final exam for a general transcription course that I’ve been taking. The final exam consists of seven reports I have to transcribe and send in to be graded. If I receive an average score that is above 80%, I will be offered an internship at a transcription company and possibly a job. It has been amazing how the croaky voice of self-doubt has been continuously whispering in my ear the entire time. Why are our brains hardwired to question ourselves when we are trying to move forward in our lives? Stepping into the unknown can be nerve-wracking enough without having a voice in your head saying, “You can’t do this,” and every variation of this negative thinking. It puts you at what seems like an impasse. You have two choices: the first is to remain where and who you are, in the safety of your current situation or you can fight through the blockade of doubt and move forward towards a new future. I’ve put my construction hat on and have been blasting through the uncertainty and trying to get through my exam despite the incessant voice in my head. It hasn’t been easy, though. I’ve done more procrastinating then I care to admit but I know I need to complete this exam. This need to see this through is a greater force than the doubt. I’m being propelled forward by dreams and goals that I have for myself, and those two things cannot exist in the past, only in the future.

Update: I got my first exam back and got an A- on it! One down, six to go….fingers crossed.

The Rise of Self Doubt

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There is this poetry contest I was excited to enter. I had this wonderful idea for a poem and have been tweaking it for weeks now. As the deadline looms; however, I’ve found my enthusiasm waning and self-doubt rearing its ugly head. Does this happen to other writers? Have any of you decided to enter a contest or submit something to a publication only to experience these feelings? I keep telling myself that my work has just as much of a chance as anyone else. And I’ll never know unless I try and multiple other platitudes that sound as hollow as a ping-pong ball. Over the past few days, it’s been amazing how many ways I’ve found to not work on the poem. The deadline is October 1st, it’s creeping up so quickly and the apathy I’ve developed towards working on it has been astonishing. I want to put my writing out there. I want as many people as possible to see my work but I’m questioning my own work like it’s out to get me. I also know that a big part of being a writer is being able to handle rejection. Rationally I know how most of what I submit won’t be accepted. But it’s always that self-doubt isn’t it? That lingering fear of what I put forth won’t be good enough. The countdown continues and the poem remains unfinished. I’ll keep you posted on what happens.